Friday August 12

Today, I got up determined to try harder with gomdo and meditation. My back has felt great since Yang Heejern gave me a chiropractic message. I did it.

Meals have returned to simpler far since we often eat a few non-organic meals out with Koreans and usually that means eating a lot. I've felt mixed feelings about eating factory farm animals in social situations but I defered to my hosts wishes to maintain ties with his community. Yang has to live with these people and refusing to eat with them when they want to go out for food is bad for food.

I think about this problem a lot. All I've seen to do is move the line forward and backward.

Heejern has advised me to keep a flexible mind to overcome the situation. "Let's think positve feelings about this animal since it had a hard life," was a type of grace before we ate barbequed pork with friends of his.

Yesterday, I found some peace and calm with this as we had beef stew with Yang school friend's. Peace in the fact that these were friends and trying to enjoy it was enough.  Here in the grace and generosity of my host I've overcome the situation.

This makes the meals in this house more important.

So we ate mixed vegetables and rice and a lot of fruit today.

Heejern came at 830. Him and I took a chain saw and we went to cut down trees. He has been training to me in skills to help in future projects after my stint in Wwoofing. Today I got practice using a chain saw. When it worked. Heejern tried to get it to work for 20 minutes before leaving and coming back with another that didn't work so he worked on the other one until it started. He cut the trees and used his crane to knock them over. He then asked me to trim off the branches.

We took a break and turned off the chainsaw. Then that was basically finished for today because we couldn't start it again. We ate watermelon and sweet potatoes and a snack. We went home.

It was lunch time. But Heejern said we would meditate first. Then gumdo. An hour later we ate lunch which was fish soup.

"Today people found the body of people who suicide."

"Really. Man or woman?

"Both."

"How many?"

"4"

"4? Really?"

"Yes. They didn't know each other but they got together to suicide."

JuHee added: "Someone told me that there is a cafe for people who suicide. You know an internet cafe."

"Many of the reasons for these suicide are economic. So the society tells them to buy things and make the money and they get a lot of debt and they suicide."

"But what happens to people who suicide go to a very painful place. They think that they will escape pain. They will be reborn into a very painful place and this will continue until they struggle and resolve the situation."

"They are only thinking about getting the money and they only know that way."

"Thirteen years ago I had very little money but I didn't care about. I got some pigs and food from the restaurant owner. It was an easy way."

JuHee: "How many did you begin with?"

"20"

JuHee: "And how many did you sell?"

"50."

JuHee: "Woow."

Yang: "And I didn't make a lot of money with it, but young people don't want to do this because there family will see this."

Me: "Yes, Many parents want to hear there child say I want to be a doctor or a lawyer. Few parents want to hear their child say I want to be a farmer."

Yang: "There are many varieties of lives. There are rich people and poor people and middlle people. This society only wants one kind of people."

It was difficult to say more when nothing can be done about the society as a whole. We occupy our position and we will try to explain it to other people so they have an opportunity to choose our alternative.

We finished eating. I went outside and did weeding around the house.

Then we went to the a growing farm and we planted potatoes.

FOr a break we ate two watermelons because we ate one and then saw one which was about to rot so then 2 and we ate sweet potato. Because of the situation that was the bulk of our dinner.

Heejerns' friend came by and saw us and gave us a home.

We came home and decided to do meditation and gumdo first before dinner.  Ate salad for dinner. Two actually. I gathered some wild green and added some onion and a soy sesame dressing. That was salad 1. Salad two consisted of peppers, garlic shoots, lettuce leaves, and catnip from the gardens with with bimbimpap sauce. Hmm. Yummy. I could feel all the positive energy from the happy food.

At around 9, I decided I need to be stronger so I should endure a run along the road.

Heejern's voice was in my head. "Endure," Even though I was tired I eventually gained strength and stamina. I was happy I endured and struggled. I thought about the people who give up trying and struggling to live in this difficult world with the thought that things are painless in the next. Why not make this one special?