Monday August 8

Baraggo is a naughty boy. The male horse of Yang's broke out of the farm during the tsunami and had sex with  another horse on the farm. The other farmer's horse is a racing horse pregnant with a thorough bred horse. It possible that the sex with Baraggo could kill the baby. If that's soo it could cost Yang a lot of money.

Yang and I were waiting for Ju Hee to get ready so we could drive to the horse farmer and to our farm to look at the damage.

"I'm disapointed in him. The reason why is because when I rode him on Friday. He was very tired and weak. And during the tsunami he was wild and strong. Oh my god."

We got to the farm. Yang talked to the farmer. The farmer showed us where Brago entered. He had to jump down a rock and back to an enclosure. Braraggo could barely run three days ago but for a female horse he made a big effort.

It will be some weeks before we know the result.

In the car, I was talking about building eco houses and taking a course. Yang proposed we be partners to build an eco houses. I am really excited. I need to prepare myself for the task. THe first house will be Yangs own house.

We moved to a job. We had to clean a parking lot of mud and dirt. We going to have lunch with workers we were working with first.

"Can you eat Cattle Belly?," Yang asked.

"For the taste I like it, but sometimes I have difficulty eating the factory farm animal. I don't want to be rude to the people who are nice and to hurt their feelings."

"That is a good attitude to have."

"But I do struggle sometimes. Because I am thinking about the karma."

"Do you believe this now?"

"Maybe. Before now, I would just say ---- conscious---- I feel bad, but now I am saying karma. I worry about becoming a pig."

Do I believe in Karma exactly. No not yet, but I feel cowardly sometimes eating just to make people feel better.

"It's hard for people to become a pig or a cow, but these days with the foot and mouth disease. Maybe more people could become one."

"But do you struggle sometimes."

"Yes. I have seen the factory farms many times. But in Korean culture the community is important and eating together is important for this."

This was not a subject to complete in a day. It's a hard topic for me. I really don't know the answer. I've just decided and maybe Yang too that refusing to eat lunch with people on the basis of food is a poor way to get to know people.

"Try to overcome the situation," he suggested.

And I did.

The day was good. We worked with people. They brought sweet breads and coffee for snacks. We skipped the coffee but drank their herbal drinks and the breads.

Yang called me over and asked me to cut a tree.

Cut here.

I was cutting.

"Focus on the breathing."

I got zoned in on my breathing.

"In the eco-school this the first thing they teach you to do- sewing."

"Okay I will take over."

"I'm okay. I need to get stronger. You are already strong."

He laughed.

We went home. He took the truck and went back to the work site. Ju Hee and I ate some corn and pumpkin. Yang came back and taught me how to weld. It was awesome.

I made a mistake today. Yang asked me to get coil for electric cable. I went to the shed. The cord was under the rocket batteries. I tried to lift the lower battery so I could get the cable out. They were heavy. I thought to call Yang but I really wanted to do it myself and I yanked the bottom battery. The top battery slide off and flipped over into the street. Some acid leak out of the top.

I told Yang later what happened.

"Is it a problem?"

"Yes, it is. But it is done so what can we do about it?"

"But it's my fault."

"Okay clean up now and we'll talk about it tomorrow."

There is a stubborn quality to do things myself that I need to work on.